Well, what are we here for?
Wow...it's been awhile since I've written, but things have been crazy lately. Between crazy MEN and trying to do the things I want to in life, I can say that things have been a little hectic for me to even think of writing.
Anyway, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! While I don't think any of my readers are mothers (at least not that I know of), we all have a mother and MOST of us are planning on being mothers in the future. However, there are some people that don't ever want to be a mother, and it's just that that I want to write about today.
While looking at an old friend's MySpace page the other day, I noticed that she said that she didn't want any kids. Then in a conversation later that day, another friend said that she didn't want kids. Although this shocked me--the thought of any woman not wanting kids--I know that there are plenty of women that feel the same way; in fact, I have heard other friends of mine say the same thing. I even have an aunt (a very wealthy one), who would rather continue focusing on herself and her own personal worth than to have kids.
The decision of whether to have children or not to have children can be a controversial. Those who choose not to have children are sometimes looked at as selfish, because they'd rather make money and do things for themselves than to give part of that up for a child (i.e. my aunt, OPRAH). While I wouldn't go so far as to call them "selfish", I must say that I don't understand why they wouldn't want to have offspring of their own. I mean, what else are we here for? Weren't women put on Earth to reproduce? (On a side note, that is a funny subject in itself because some men think they were put on Earth to inseminate as many women as possible so that they COULD reproduce!)
I think another thing that kind of bothers me (and this is where I can see why some people consider it "selfish" is that there are some people out here that simply cannot have children because of physical restraints that disallow their body to carry or birth a child, but yet, there are other women who are simply choosing "not" to have children because they don't feel like dealing with one. It's not fair. If you don't want to care for a child on your own, at least do something good for those that desire to but can't have a child and choose to carry one for that person (although there are plenty of moral issues that come along with that as well).
True, babies and children are expensive and high maintenance--they cry, poop, puke, require lots of attention, grow up and put you through all sorts of stress and drama...lol (which is honestly no different than a damn PUPPY, but some women would rather have that than a self-produced child). Shoot, my nephew is a handful and gives me a headache, and I'm only around him for a few hours each week, if that! Not to mention the described pain of having a child...whew... But the pure joy you get from the birth of a child that I've been told of by mothers, even by the Bible itself, is enough to make me overlook all of that and have a child of my own.
Now, I love my mother more than anything else in this world. We share a very close relationship, and it pains me to even think about having to live without her one day (I'll have to find agood picture of her and I together and put it up here). Realizing my relationship with my mother gives me the desire to have someone in my life--my own offspring--look up to me and feel the same way. Who knows...maybe its the lack of a close relationship with a mother that pushes those that don't want kids completely away from that motherly desire that some of us have.
Anyway, I'm interested to know other people's opinions on that. What makes you want/not want children? Does your relationship with your mother affect your future decision for children? Let me know. I can tell you now that I want three of my own!
(P.S.--Still going natural...three months and 10 days strong!)
Anyway, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY! While I don't think any of my readers are mothers (at least not that I know of), we all have a mother and MOST of us are planning on being mothers in the future. However, there are some people that don't ever want to be a mother, and it's just that that I want to write about today.
While looking at an old friend's MySpace page the other day, I noticed that she said that she didn't want any kids. Then in a conversation later that day, another friend said that she didn't want kids. Although this shocked me--the thought of any woman not wanting kids--I know that there are plenty of women that feel the same way; in fact, I have heard other friends of mine say the same thing. I even have an aunt (a very wealthy one), who would rather continue focusing on herself and her own personal worth than to have kids.
The decision of whether to have children or not to have children can be a controversial. Those who choose not to have children are sometimes looked at as selfish, because they'd rather make money and do things for themselves than to give part of that up for a child (i.e. my aunt, OPRAH). While I wouldn't go so far as to call them "selfish", I must say that I don't understand why they wouldn't want to have offspring of their own. I mean, what else are we here for? Weren't women put on Earth to reproduce? (On a side note, that is a funny subject in itself because some men think they were put on Earth to inseminate as many women as possible so that they COULD reproduce!)
I think another thing that kind of bothers me (and this is where I can see why some people consider it "selfish" is that there are some people out here that simply cannot have children because of physical restraints that disallow their body to carry or birth a child, but yet, there are other women who are simply choosing "not" to have children because they don't feel like dealing with one. It's not fair. If you don't want to care for a child on your own, at least do something good for those that desire to but can't have a child and choose to carry one for that person (although there are plenty of moral issues that come along with that as well).
True, babies and children are expensive and high maintenance--they cry, poop, puke, require lots of attention, grow up and put you through all sorts of stress and drama...lol (which is honestly no different than a damn PUPPY, but some women would rather have that than a self-produced child). Shoot, my nephew is a handful and gives me a headache, and I'm only around him for a few hours each week, if that! Not to mention the described pain of having a child...whew... But the pure joy you get from the birth of a child that I've been told of by mothers, even by the Bible itself, is enough to make me overlook all of that and have a child of my own.
Now, I love my mother more than anything else in this world. We share a very close relationship, and it pains me to even think about having to live without her one day (I'll have to find agood picture of her and I together and put it up here). Realizing my relationship with my mother gives me the desire to have someone in my life--my own offspring--look up to me and feel the same way. Who knows...maybe its the lack of a close relationship with a mother that pushes those that don't want kids completely away from that motherly desire that some of us have.
Anyway, I'm interested to know other people's opinions on that. What makes you want/not want children? Does your relationship with your mother affect your future decision for children? Let me know. I can tell you now that I want three of my own!
(P.S.--Still going natural...three months and 10 days strong!)
posted by Kimmie91783 @ 9:24 PM
1 Comments:
At 3:43 PM,
Anonymous said…
Well, as a 25 year old Black man, I'm beginning to ask myself "Why am I still holding on to my childhood? Why have I been working so hard to avoid adding new responsibilities (staying away from long-term relationships, buying Trojans, pulling out, morning-after pills, etc.)? Do I really wanna be 30 trying to enjoy the life I was living at 18?" I honestly can't think of anything that I've wanted to do that I haven't done yet. There's nothing left for me to conquer. I'm ready to tackle my fears and become a real man. I honestly think that my next adreneline rush will come with the challenge of being a great husband and a great father.
My father died before I was old enough to remember him. My mama wasn't around. My childhood was pretty fu*ked up. This is what inspires me to be a great father. I want to give some lucky kids (probably 3) the joys that I didn't get to have when I was growing up. I refuse to fail.
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